(un)Successful

You know you are an absolutely useless twit of a dictator when you can't even win the election you've rigged.

Boss, Banana and a Monkey

Trying to win an arguement with your boss is like wrestling with a monkey over a banana: Futile.

A reason

Life is, in itself, a reason enough to smile.

Essential People skills

Q: If you see your ex-wife walking down the road, would you smile, stop and talk to her?

A: Yes. She owes me money.

Golden (?) teeths

I've golden teeth, or quite a few yellow ones anyways.