Only god knows

Only god knows that I'm an atheist.

Most romantic... disease

If getting wet is what couples like the best, then pneumonia must be the romantic disease.

You got to say Please

Sometimes you got to say Please. So, here it goes: Can I please, please kick your ass, you lousy twit !@#$#$#

Sexual Harassment ...in the workplace

To whom you complain to if your HR Manager is THE one who is harassing you. Again.

On Bidding

Bidding

An official process to determine who is the cheapskate of 'em all.

Corollary
If your office supplies stops working, remember that it was supplied by the cheapest supplier. So, quit complaining.

Corollary II
If that happens and you're enlisted in the Army, then you're DOOMED. May you rust in peace.