(un)Successful

You know you are an absolutely useless twit of a dictator when you can't even win the election you've rigged.

Boss, Banana and a Monkey

Trying to win an arguement with your boss is like wrestling with a monkey over a banana: Futile.

A reason

Life is, in itself, a reason enough to smile.

Essential People skills

Q: If you see your ex-wife walking down the road, would you smile, stop and talk to her?

A: Yes. She owes me money.

Golden (?) teeths

I've golden teeth, or quite a few yellow ones anyways.

Birds and ornithologists

Do Ornithologists still love it when birds poop in their head?

Get stuffed..... ummmm... where exactly?

We all knew that he was tactless and had no clue on how the conversation was progressing, but it was the last straw when he remarked “Where?” when she rebuffed him by saying, “Get Stuffed, Punk”.